Clemens in orange jump suit? And why couldn't Notre Dame stop Denard Robinson?

Unpublished

Got to make this a fast column. My wife and I are in the midst of training for a marathon. She’s running 26 miles, I’m running 385 yards. …

This just in: Roger Clemens, with an eye on the future, watched the opening Sunday of the NFL season in an orange jump suit. …

Cowboys coach Wade Phillips took the blame for a botched play that led to a fumble return for a touchdown in Sunday’s loss to the Redskins. And once he got on a roll in his postgame press conference, Phillips also took the blame for the loss, the economy, world hunger and Jerry Jones’ facelift. …

By the way, speaking of Jones … The best owner in football? It’s not J.J. It’s Phil Knight of the U of Oregon Ducks. They may become the first team ever to win a national championship while playing in pajamas. …

Turns out Reggie Bush returning the Heisman was a plea deal. He agreed to hand over the hardware, but was allowed to keep his collection of Kim Kardashian instructional tapes. …

It took all afternoon last Saturday, but Notre Dame finally figured out a way to stop Michigan quarterback Denard Robinson: end zones. …

Don’t know what’s going to happen with this Jets sexual harassment case involving a woman reporter. But, having seen pictures of her, I know this: Joe Namath is going to want to play a fast game of tonsil hockey with her. …

Happens every year. The Bengals and Browns both lost last Sunday, leaving Ohio State as the top-ranked team in the state. …

Quarterback controversy? Right. I’ll bet you two of Andy Reid’s chins that Michael Vick starts for the Eagles this weekend. …

The Chargers, after losing to the gawdawful Chiefs Monday night, have decided to cancel the rest of their season and go to the beach. …

We could have a breakthrough in the nasty McCourt divorce case. Jamie is considering letting Frank have the Dodgers if she can keep the Manny wig. …

 

With no NBA teams interested, Allen Iverson is considering playing in China. I’ve got a better idea. He digs a really, really deep hole and stops just before he gets there.. …

A tale of two teams: The Broncos are 2-9 since opening last season 6-0. The Titans are 9-2 since opening last season 0-6. …

I admit it, I miss Mike Leach on the sideline on Saturdays. So what’s the former Texas Tech coach doing these days? He’s waiting to see how his lawsuit against the school turns out. He sued for slander, libel and exposure to the nightlife in Lubbock. …

Amazing. Avalanche forward Brandon Yip reported to training camp the other day and said he didn’t get nervous over a single putt during the summer. …

Good news out of Tuscaloosa. Nick Saban says Heisman winner Mark Ingram will play Saturday, keeping him within striking distance of Forrest Gump’s all-time rushing record at Bama. …

And finally, Reds first baseman Joey Votto, when asked what it would mean to him as a native Canadian to win the Triple Crown: “Canadian ballplayers are really humble guys. They’d pat you on the back and say, “Wow, pretty good job.’ And then we’d go get a beer.’’   

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Jim Armstrong