Sports Lite

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A quick look at the lighter side of sports is always a good thing.

A quick look at the lighter side of sports is always a good thing.

“I am the way, the truth and the Sports Lite.’’ Not to, you know, brag or anything, but how many other columns out there got some love in the Bible? …

The latest on the Brett Favre saga: Favre’s marriage has been listed as questionable on the Vikings’ injury report. …

Favre completed his 500th touchdown pass the other night. Well, not counting the short skirts in the front office. …

For the record, I’m a big Favre fan. I don’t know if this stuff is true, but since he hasn’t denied any of it, I’m thinking he got caught with his pants down. His sweatpants, too. …

Come on, Brett, this is the 21st century. At least make something up. Tell them somebody spiked your water bottle and made you hallucinate. Either that or you’re a devout Mennonite like Floyd Landis and you’d never do such a thing. …

What, you think the media are being rough on Favre? I can’t wait to see what sign Packers GM Ted Thompson draws up for the Vikings’ visit to Lambeau next week. …

NFL officials have been trying to get through to Jenn Sterger to no avail. Let me guess. She’s on a conference call with the editors at Playboy. …

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Jim Armstrong discusses Brett Favre's "issues" in a way that only Bill Clinton could love. That and more from the Lighter Side of Sports.

Bill Clinton, reacting to the Favre situation: “He did NOT have sexual relations with that woman … but, damn, he wanted to! I mean, come on now. Have you seen the personalities on that sweet young thing?’’ …

OK, enough already with our man Brett. And enough already with the baseball playoffs, too. What part of Phillies rule, everybody else drools don’t you get? …

In case you haven’t noticed, the NHL season has started. What’s that? Yeah, you’re right. My bad. Everyone knows there’s no beginning, middle or end to the NHL season. …

Not that Juan Uribe and Pablo Sandoval could use to lose a few pounds, but the Eagles had more scouts at the Giants-Braves series than the Phillies did. …

I just took a glance at the NBA exhibition standings. Which reminds me. Two glances at the NBA exhibition standings and you officially have less of a life than Mel Kiper, Jr. …

Brent Musburger on steroids: “I think under the proper care and doctor’s orders, they could be used at the professional level.’’ Brent, we said take the fifth, not drink it. …

By the way, now that the recession is over and all, I’m assuming you’re reading this on an island with an umbrella drink in your hand. Just make sure you don’t spill on the keyboard, bubba. …

Steve Spurrier gave himself a game ball after South Carolina knocked off No. 1 Alabama. In case you’re wondering, I already checked. That’s the only thing the NCAA doesn’t have a rule against. …

The 49ers’ owner, Jed York, texted ESPN the other day to predict that the Niners would win the NFC West. He also predicted a fourth-quarter comeback by Germany in World War II. …

Not that Wade Phillips is in trouble, but he’s been told that, if the Cowboys lose at Minnesota this weekend, he’s walking home. …

This just in. Linebacker U has been renamed Matador U after Penn State’s embarrassing loss to lowly Illinois at Happy Valley. …

Jim Armstrong

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