Fun times in the sports world

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Sports Lite: A quick look at the lighter side of sports is always a good thing.

Sports Lite: A quick look at the lighter side of sports is always a good thing.

Sports Lite. The official column of all those happy campers in the Vikings’ locker room. …

According to reports, a representative for quarterback Cam Newton demanded money to play at Mississippi State before he chose to sign with Auburn. Apparently, reporters became suspicious of Newton when he asked the Heisman committee if he could have cash instead of the trophy. …

Newton and Auburn officials are vehemently denying the story, saying they’ve never heard of this alleged rep or, for that matter, the Mississippi State football program.…


Then there’s LSU coach Les Miles, who eats grass on the sideline every Saturday. Hey, don’t laugh. Anybody in the SEC who has a hobby that doesn’t entail getting arrested ought to be applauded. …


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Columnist Jim Armstrong is back with his weekly dose of fun and irreverence. (No sports personalities were harmed in the writing of this column.)

Troy Polamalu, the Steelers’ Pro Bowl safety, says NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has way too much power in determining fines for players. When asked for his reaction, Goodell said he didn’t know Chia Pets could talk. …


This player-safety business is officially getting out of control. How do we know? The  Post Office is coming out with a new stamp to commemorate the spot where pass rushers can hit the quarterback. …


I see where Shawn Bradley lost his recent bid for a seat in the Utah state legislature. Not that the news was all bad. He was able to keep his gig changing light bulbs on the ceiling of the state capital. …


All right, I admit it. When I heard Mike Shanahan’s assertion that Donovan McNabb wasn’t in good enough cardiovascular condition to run the two-minute offense, I was sitting in the press box with a donut in one hand and a hot dog in the other. …


Word out of Southern California is that USC has a verbal commitment from a 13-year-old quarterback from Delaware. No, Trojans fan Charlie Sheen,  he doesn’t have a sister. …


Thank God Conan O’Brien’s late-night show is off the ground. One more endless promo and I was going to start switching over to the thrill and excitement of the WNBA. …


Say, didn’t you used to be Carson Palmer? …


Don’t look now, but, after all these years of living in the past, things are changing in Oakland. The Raiders took a winning record into their bye week, prompting Al Davis to replace the eight-track player in the locker room. …


So some guy e-mails me the other day and asks if I’m a member of Raider Nation. Nation? They just filled the stadium for the first time in five years. …


Derek Jeter won his fifth Gold Glove the other day. Amazing considering he has less range than some of the monuments in center field. …


And finally, happy birthday to my guitar hero, Neil Young, who turns 65 on Friday. The first time I saw him in concert, the Reds were hoping newly-acquired Joe Morgan would make them a better team. How’d that work out, anyway?

Jim Armstrong