Sports Lite

Sports Lite. So easy a caveman could read it. …

The biggest surprise of the college football season? Texas’ collapse. The Longhorns have lost six out of seven and are in danger of not playing in a bowl. According to veteran sports writers in the Lone Star State, the last time Texas was this bad, Davy Crockett was the offensive coordinator. …

Wisconsin led Indiana 69-13 in the fourth quarter on Saturday. What to do? What else? Throw a 74-yard touchdown pass. Sportsmanship. It’s what’s for dinner in Madison. …

Timberwolves forward Kevin Love set a franchise record the other night with 31 rebounds, 12 on the offensive end. Afterward, he thanked his mother for driving him to all his games as a kid and God for giving him such crappy teammates. …

Brett Favre says he’s glad he came out of retirement despite a broken ankle, sore elbow, bum shoulder and lacerated chin. Favre also says he’s holding out hope that the Vikings can make the playoffs and he can pick up his first case of jock itch. …

Who says Favre is a lock to retire after the season? He got personalized license plates last week that read: “Minnesota, Land of 10,000 Interceptions.’’ …

Not that things are getting ugly with this Cam Newton story, but his dad, Cecil, recently called Roger Clemens for advice on how to handle the P.R. nightmare. …

The elder Newton is neither confirming nor denying that he tried to extort $180,000 out of Mississippi State for his son’s services. He has, however, confirmed that he’s a raging dufus. …

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Texas is embarrassed, Brady is stylish...and of course there's always Brett Favre to make fun of.

At this point, aren’t the Patriots the team to beat in Sunday football? I mean, they just hammered the Steelers in Pittsburgh to go to 7-2. Not only that, Tom Brady’s hair is just darling.  …

The Major League Soccer championship game is scheduled for this Sunday between the Colorado Rapids and FC Dallas. So which team is going to win 1-0? I have to admit, I really don’t give an FC. …

The Raiders are in first place in the AFC West. Uh-huh. And if Philip Rivers spends the next six weeks shopping for fake Rolexes in Tijuana, they might stay there. …

Do not attempt this at home. The 49ers allowed five sacks, racked up over 100 yards in penalties and went 0-for-11 on third down in Sunday’s win over the Rams. In the NFC West, that’s known as excelling in all three phases. …

Randy Moss had one catch in his debut with the Titans. When asked to comment on his performance, Moss said he only talks to reporters from Minnesota. …

The Lions lost their 25th road game in a row vs. the previously-winless Bills. Said Detroit coach Jim Schwartz, when asked what positives he took out of the trip: “Those were some killer pillow mints at the hotel.’’ …

NBA owners voted unanimously the other day to maintain their hard-line stance against the players in labor negotiations. They also agreed in a vote of 29-1 that Mark Cuban is a tool. …

And finally, memo to Clint Hurdle, the new skipper of the Pirates: Don’t  be alarmed when your business cards read manager du jour.

 

Jim Armstrong