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Got to make this one quick, folks. I’m busy bidding on Vince Young’s stinky shoulder pads on eBay. …


So the Vikings finally got around to canning Brad Childress. The last straw was when Brett Favre e-mailed obscene pictures of Childress’ record to owner Ziggy Wilf. …


The good times are rolling again in San Antonio. Not only have the Spurs won 10 straight, the front office is making a ton selling ads on Manu Ginobili’s bald spot. …
Tony Parker did what? Cheated on Eva Longoria? To paraphrase my man Dean Wormer, “Son, skinny, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.’’ …
Turns out that’s only half of the story. Parker also shops at airports and dines in movie theaters. …


Two weeks after losing at home to Wisconsin, Iowa lost at home to Ohio State. Hawkeyes coach Kirk Ferentz said after the game that he didn’t know what went wrong. Nor did he know why they keep paying him so much money for being so overrated. …


News flash: Inspired by those old ESPN commercials, Carmelo Anthony was caught trying to sneak into the baggage compartment of the Knicks’ team bus after they played in Denver. …

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Believe it or not, those reports are true. LeBron James is a finalist for Time magazine’s Person of the Year for his tireless and selfless dedication to himself. …
LeBron’s teammate, Chris Bosh, had 35 points the other night. Afterward, Bosh said he was happy to be able to contribute, and even happier that he no longer had to carry LeBron’s bags through the airport. …



I know, I know, sportswriters aren’t supposed to wager on games, but I can’t help myself. I’m betting Cam Newton’s entire 2010 salary on Alabama this weekend. …


Congrats to Jimmie Johnson on his fifth straight Sprint Cup championship. In case you missed it, his brother Darrel and his other brother Darrel finished second and third. …
Just kidding. I love NASCAR. The next time Dale, Jr. wins, I’m throwing a party at the old folks’ home. …


Nebraska chancellor Harvey Perlman criticized coach Bo Pelini the other day for berating the officials during the Huskers’ loss at Texas A&M. Perlman did, however, praise Pelini for dressing up by wearing a clean sweatshirt. …


Derek Jeter is 36 and wants a five-year deal to play shortstop for the Yankees. Hal Steinbrenner has countered with three years and a two-year supply of Viagra. …


Good news, Celtics fans. Kevin Garnett has been backpedaling so much in the aftermath of allegations that he called Charlie Villanueva a cancer patient, Doc Rivers says it’s helping K.G.’s defense. …


Garnett, stealing a page out of the Roger Clemens handbook, says he never used the word cancer. He claims he called Villanueva a Sagittarius. …


Jim Armstrong

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