Funniest Official 2012 London Olympic Headshots

Get the Athlon Sports Newsletter

The official 2012 London Olympic headshots have to be seen to be believed.

<p> The official 2012 London Olympic headshots of Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, Andy Roddick, Misty May-Treanor have to be seen to be believed. These are the worst photos of the best athletes in the world.</p>

The official 2012 London Olympic headshots have to be seen to be believed. And even then, they don’t seem real. Here’s a few of the world’s worst photos of the world’s finest athletes.

Michael Phelps
USA
Swimming

The 14-time Olympic gold medalist was forced to put down the bong, exit the hacky sack circle and take a picture.

Andy Roddick
USA
Tennis

Roddick’s wife, swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker, has never taken a bad picture. Looks like Roddick has, though.

Usain Bolt
Jamaica
Track

Apparently, the reigning 100-meter and 200-meter Olympic champ submitted his high school yearbook photo.

Neymar
Brazil
Soccer

The beautiful game’s 20-year-old prodigy usually rocks a Mohawk, but decided mop-top bangs were a better look.

Misty May-Treanor
USA
Beach Volleyball

The face of her sport, May-Treanor almost certainly has a better driver’s license photo in her purse.

Anastasia Davydova
Russia
Synchronized swimming

Judging by this retouched image, if the girl with the butterfly tattoos were a mail-order bride, she’d arrive via email.

Ronjan Sodhi
India
Shooting

Insert your own joke here.

 

Daniela Hantuchova
Slovakia
Tennis

The blonde bombshell posed nude for ESPN’s Body Issue, then showed up naked for her Olympic photo shoot.

Nenad Filipovic
Serbia
Race walking

Everyone wants to know how to get in Hantuchova’s jeans and how to stop the spreading of the Filipovic’s genes.

Predrag Filipovic
Serbia
Race walking

Pre-drag’s other brother, Post-drag, did not qualify for the Olympics as a race walker due to his high heals.

Race Imboden
USA
Fencing

The Notre Dame Fighting Irish’s fencing star is giving Conan O’Brien’s famous coif a run for its money.

Shota Iizuka
Japan
Track

Did Shota take this shot under water? Or did he bring his own blue-green colored gel to cover the Olympic lens?

Anastasiya Juravleva
Uzbekistan
Triple jump

You just don’t see power suits with shoulder pads like you used to. No doubt about it, Juravleva remembers the 1980s.

Carol Rodriguez
Puerto Rico
Track

When the Zombie Apocalypse finally hits, Rodriguez’s speed will make her one of the most dangerous running dead.

Margarita Matsko
Kazakhstan
Track

Borat should follow Margarita around for cultural learnings of London for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan.

Conlin McCabe
Canada
Rowing

Who knew late-90s-era Slim Shady qualified for the Olympics? Is “rowing” slang for something else? Probably.

Rico Freimuth
Germany
Decathlon

And early-90s-era Vanilla Ice is also competing? There is about to be a white boy rap battle — British style.

Maysa Rejepova
Turkmenistan
Track

Part of “Rapuzel” Rejepova’s cardio training for the London Olympics was jumping rope with her pigtails.

Yik Chun Tang
Hong Kong
Track

The smoking hot ladies in Olympic Village better brace themselves for this 4x100-meter relay runner-slash-playboy.

Yogeshwar Dutt
India
Wrestling

FYI, Dutt has a custom-made bowl for his hair-styling and a tailor-made powder blue jumpsuit for just styling.

Olivera Moldovan
Serbia
Canoe sprint

The bizarro farmer’s tan consists of a painfully red face surrounded by a pasty white forehead and body.

Amelie Solja
Austria
Table tennis

Appropriately nicknamed “Harry Potter” (seriously) this lady ping-pong pro must cast spells on her opponents.

Abdelrahman Eltrabily
Egypt
Wrestling

If Andre the Giant and an ogre from the desert had a kid, he’d probably be an Olympic wrestler — if not WWE wrassler.

Ele Opeloge
Samoa
Weightlifting

Even Ndamukong Suh doesn’t want to mess with Opeloge when she’s mad, tired, hungry or just posing for a headshot.

Jade Faulkner
Great Britain
Gymnastics

Young Jade is shocked that real cameras even exist; she thought only iPhones were capable of taking pictures.

Lesya Kalitovska
Ukraine
Cycling

Joe Dirt’s long lost sister has it all, especially a sweet mullet and irresistible throwback bangs.

Andrei Kavalenka
Belarus
Shooting

The last time I played Clue, it was the count or baron or whatever, in the kitchen with an Olympic rifle.

Linda Sembrant
Sweden
Soccer

Someone should have warned poor Linda just how provocative and dirty Terry Richardson photoshoots can be.

Yong Sim Choe
DPR of Korea
Soccer

The face of North Korea’s women’s soccer team is obviously disappointed by the news that Kim Jong-un is married.

Geoff Kabush
Canada
Mountain biking

Convincing people he’s Michael Phelps with a mustache will be Kabush’s hobby once he gets off the bike in London.

Marta Pihan-Kulesza
Poland
Gymnastics

More purple eye shadow, Marta! How many times do you need to be told? More purple eye shadow, Marta!

Joan Tomas Roca
Andorra
Shooting

Roca shot down the last man who made a Juan Valdez joke. He won’t tolerate even a reference to coffee or donkeys.

Matt Stanley
New Zealand
Swimming

Creepy contacts or vampire? Tough call. Stanley does compete indoors, away from the sunlight, however.

Robin Garnham
Great Britain
Handball

If Pau Gasol thinks he has the neck-beard market locked down, he’s in for a surprise this summer in London.

Polona Batagelj
Slovenia
Cycling

Peppermint Patty’s new hairstyle helps, but the constant bike riding in Birkenstocks is still an issue.

Yannick Brauchli
Switzerland
Sailing

Decided to use the photo already hanging in the post office as his official Olympic mug shot. It’s a branding thing.

Alan Wills
Great Britain
Archery

Gollum is played by Ron Howard’s brother in this revisioning of the Lord of the Rings.

David Katoatau
Kiribati
Weightlifting

Anthony Davis’ unibrow is tame compared to Kat-daddy’s thicker, more aggressive black brow(s).

Jinhyeok Jeong
South Korea
Marathon

The Korean Justin Bieber will feel like he ran a marathon after wading through the mobs of fans in London.

Tjasa Oder
Slovenia
Swimming

Andy Warhol’s style isn’t just about Campbell’s soup and Marilyn Monroe prints; there’s also swimming involved.

Yauheni Hutarovich
Belarus
Cycling

Sure, Yauheni the Hut has an unstoppable mullet. But the wispy mustache on the corners of his mouth is the best.

Joao Monteiro
Portugal
Table tennis

Annie Leibovitz and Vanity Fair will be pissed when they find out Monty used his cover photo as an Olympic headshot.

Vardan Pahlevanyan
Armenia
Long jump

The turtle neck is just not enough. Better wear a wide-neck over-sweater, just to be safe.

Hector Herrera
Mexico
Soccer

X-Y axis? Proportional? What are you talking about? Herrera's head is naturally shaped like a soccer ball.

Joshua Binstock
Canada
Beach volleyball

Never look directly at the Northern Lights — your face will be seen through the prism of a carnival-mirror.

by Nathan Rush
 

Home Page Infinite Scroll Left