We love Fatheads. But we're getting a little tired of those same-old action shots. Instead, we're looking for something that inspires us and teaches us life-lessons. Life lessons such as: Don't be an idiot.
John Daly: Before you head out for that next drinking binge, take a look at this fathead's Fathead. Back in 2008, the hard-partying golfer headed to Hooters and pounded so many sudsy brews that he passed out. Police let him sleep it off in a cell for 24 hours, but not before he donned this stunning orange shirt and offered up a look that says, "I just crapped myself."
To quote the Nature Boy himself: "Woooooooo!…I surrender." At least that's what he told North Carolina police back in 2005 after a road rage incident. He was later cleared of all charges, but not before flashing this wrestling-scarred face for the authorities. If nothing else, this Fathead will remind you, "Hey, maybe my job isn't so bad."
Andre The Giant
This Fathead is actual size. The 7-foot 4-inch, 540-pound wrestler was nabbed back in 1989 by the Linn County, Iowa sheriff's department for allegedly roughing up a cameramen who was filming his match after being warned not to. In case you're wondering, the real dumbass is the cameraman, but we just love looking at the giant's Martin Van Buren mutton-chop sideburns.
The Rocket looks like a used car salesman in this perjury-induced mugshot from August 2010. We don't know if the pitching great lied to Congress about using steroids (wink, wink), but his Fathead serves to remind us of one thing: NEVER…EVER…get frosted tips on your hair.
The former and (sort of) once-again NFL QB struck this "My name Mike and I like long walks on the beach" pose in 2008 after facing charges surrounding his dogfighting ring. Since Vick wound up spending 21 months in the pokey, we're titling this Fathead: "Pissing away two prime years."
It's almost the next best thing to having a Michael Jordan mugshot on your wall. Almost. Pippen, a former Chicago Bulls star, was nabbed back in 1999 after being arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. Charges we later dropped, but not before he flashed this "I'm so gonna beat this" smile for the police camera.
No longer doing the "Super Bowl Shuffle,"—thank God—this one-time Bears QB was arrested in Florida in 2003 for driving without a decorative sweatband on his head. Oh, and for having a blood-alcohol level more than three times the legal limit. He pleaded no contest and got probation.
It's hard to narrow down our favorite Doc Gooden Fathead mugshot, but this one from Tampa, Fla., will do. Back in 2006, the former pitching phenom was arrested for violating his probation. (Insert gasp here.) We're pretty sure he was on double-secret probation, considering he's been busted for everything from DUI and evading arrest, to domestic violence and drugs. Of course, we would love to have him locked up for making his once-valuable rookie card as worthless as tits on a bullfrog.
OK, so this Fathead may not be from an actual mugshot, but the former football star's face at the courthouse says a lot. Mostly it says, "Well, crap. I'm going to be convicted of robbery and kidnapping." The sentence was handed down by a Las Vegas jury in 2008. He was later sentenced to 33 years in jail. The moral? Karma's a bitch.
Oddly, this booking photo looks just like our Match.com profile photo. It's uncanny. Seriously, have you ever seen anybody so happy to be arrested? Neon Deion's unconcern probably stems from the ridiculous charges he faced in June 1996 when Florida police nabbed him for trespassing. Apparently the then Dallas Cowboys star went fishing on a lake owned by a local airport, despite being warned by authorities.
This is a must-have Fathead, if only to remind you of this: don't put your loaded, unregistered Glock pistol in your sweatpants. Ever. That is, unless you want to shoot yourself, piss away millions of dollars and go to prison. Then, go crazy. The former NFL receiver's Fathead face says it all, "I can't believe I'm that dumb."
The former heavyweight champ and face-tattoo lover was arrested in December 2006 on drunk driving and cocaine possession charges following a police stop outside an Arizona nightclub. He was sentenced to 24 hours in jail and a ton of community service. The moral? No clue, we just love the fact that Iron Mike is sticking his tongue out during his police booking photo.
College Basketball Heralded University of Texas freshman Myles Turner announced on Monday via Youtube that he will enter the upcoming NBA Draft which takes place in June. Turner’s decision comes the day...
College Basketball, News When fans think of the best coaching destinations in college basketball, few may name Texas as one of the top names. True, the Longhorns are not Kentucky, Duke, North Carolina, Kansas, Indiana...
College Football, News LSU has trended backwards in the SEC West standings for four consecutive seasons, going from first (2011) to second (2012) to third (2013) to fifth (2014). One major reason for that type of...
College Basketball The best team doesn’t always win the NCAA Tournament. Many of greatest rosters ever assembled failed to cut down the nets in the one-and-done, single-elimination Madness of March. These are...
College Football, News Washington opens its second spring under coach Chris Petersen with just 10 returning starters and major concerns on both sides of the ball. The quarterback position is up for grabs, and the battle...
College Basketball, News If college basketball is taking a backseat in the sports world, no one told this year’s Final Four participants. The final weekend of college basketball promises to be one of the most...
College Basketball, News For most of the season, Rick Pitino and Tom Izzo said they didn’t have teams capable of doing what their previous teams had done in the postseason. They both have their share of Final...
College Basketball, News Notre Dame may be the best team Kentucky has played all season. That’s worth saying right here right now since Notre Dame probably won’t touch that kind of talk, not after Kentucky...