If Marvel's Infinity Stones Were College Football Personalities
Marvel Studios' Avengers: Infinity War hits theaters Friday, April 27 and the film is the result of the most ambitious undertaking in cinematic history. To date the project is a 10-year, 19-film endeavor spanning multiple franchises and plenty of sequels. Each of these films has had a role in the larger story at play. In a sense, Disney used the previous 18 films to set the stage for No. 19.
The story centers around six stones with supernatural powers, called Infinity Stones. These stones are as old as time and used to construct the universe as we know it. They cannot be destroyed and whomever possesses a stone has untold power. The villain in this third installment of Avengers, Thanos, is on a quest to obtain all six stones and thus obtain unlimited power.
In an exercise out of the sports-meets-entertainment playbook, I thought it would be fun to compare the six Infinity Stones to college football personalities. Here is a breakdown of six easily recognizable individuals in college football who match up best to each Infinity Stone based on its specific properties. If anything, this may help you get ready for the movie or put one of these individuals in a different light.
— Compiled by Josh Webb, who is part of the Athlon Contributor Network and a sportswriter in Southern California. Webb also is a staff writer for @TheMarvelReport. Follow him on Twitter @FightOnTwist.
Space Stone – Urban Meyer, Ohio State head coach
The Space Stone allows its possessor to teleport anywhere in the Marvel universe that the possessor can imagine. In the film, Thanos uses the Space Stone to teleport to and from locations, essentially allowing him to be everywhere at once. Much in this same way, Meyer has been all over the place since crashing on to the scene as the head coach of Bowling Green from 2001-02. After his stint in the MAC, Meyer led Utah to a undefeated record in 2004, went on to claim two national championships at Florida (2006, ’08), and has since helped re-establish Ohio State as a national power, including winning the inaugural College Football Playoff in the 2014-15 season. If you were to ask recruits, they would also agree that Meyer is capable of being everywhere and recruiting everyone important to the success of his program.
Reality Stone – Mark Emmert, NCAA President
The Reality Stone allows the possessor to fulfill any wish they may have, even if it directly contradicts natural laws. The reality stone can make the impossible possible. In this way, Emmert has somehow managed to convince the entire world that a billion dollar industry is an amateur sport. The laws of what should be cease to exist in the NCAA, often creating their own policies and rules and Emmert is at the head of it all.
Mind Stone – Jim Harbaugh, Michigan head coach
The Mind Stone allows the possessor the ability to read other people’s thoughts and dreams. When combined with the Power Stone, the Mind Stone can access all minds at once. Harbaugh is routinely in the heads of other people. A master of the mind game, Harbaugh has been doing it his way since he became the head coach at San Diego, including his stint in the NFL with the San Francisco 49ers. While major victories (including against Urban Meyer and archrival Ohio State as well as a Super Bowl XLVII loss to Baltimore and his brother, John) still elude him, the ability to win a head game remains within his wheelhouse.
Power Stone – Nick Saban, Alabama head coach
The Power Stone allows the possessor complete control over energy, allowing for its manipulation. It also grants the possessor increased physical strength and endurance. Whether it was at LSU or now at Alabama, Saban remains the most powerful man in college football. With multiple national titles and no signs of slowing down, Saban continues to run roughshod over a sport built on parity.
Time Stone – Bill Snyder, Kansas State head coach
The Time Stone allows the possessor complete control over time itself. This includes seeing into different times, moving into different times, aging and de-aging certain object, and creating time loops. College football seems to be stuck in a time loop for the legendary Snyder. Dubbed “The Wizard” for his ability to win with seemingly nothing, Snyder first started as the head coach at Kansas State back in 1989 and has been in that position since save for his “retirement” from 2006-08.
Soul Stone – The players
The Soul Stone allows the processor control over souls. They can be stolen and manipulated, living or dead. The heart of any sport is usually its players. No more so is that the case than in college football. The history of college football is littered with the souls of those who did the impossible, created everlasting memories, and built the rivalries upon which the very fabric of the game still stands.