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Jokes About Texas Rivals

Here are some of our favorite jokes about Texas' biggest rivals.

• What's the difference between a Texas A&M football player and a dollar?
You can get four quarters out of a dollar.

• A man in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "Wanna hear an Oklahoma joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Look, fella, I'm six feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an Oklahoma grad. The guy next to me is 6-2, 225, and he's an Oklahoma grad. The big dude next to him is 6-5, weighs 250, and he's an Oklahoma grad. You still wanna tell that joke?" The first man replies: "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

• What do you get when you cross Texas Tech with a groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.

• Why do Oklahoma football players like smart women?
Opposites attract.

• How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s a sophomore course.

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• Did you hear what happened to the Oklahoma fan when he found out that 90% of all car accidents occur within five miles of home?
He moved.

• What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a Texas Tech fan?
A tattoo.

• How do you get an Oklahoma graduate off your front porch?
You pay for the pizza.

• What do you call 20 Texas A&M fans skydiving from an airplane?

• Things you will never hear an Oklahoma fan say:
I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 

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