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The Prophecies of the Oracle Reveal the Fate of the Michigan State Spartans in 2015

Connor Cook

Connor Cook

After consulting the Oracle at Sparta, (not to be confused with that charlatan in Delphi), I can report the following predictions about Michigan State's upcoming football season.

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Related: Why Michigan State Will or Won't Make the College Football Playoff in 2015

1. Michigan State's victory over Western Michigan in Kalamazoo will set up the first contest between top-10 teams in East Lansing since 1966. The questions directed to head coach Mark Dantonio in the postgame press conference will revolve around two constant themes:

* "How awesome are the coaching abilities of Jim Harbaugh?"    

* "How soon will Jim Harbaugh lead the Wolverines to a Big Ten championship, College Football Playoff appearance and national championship, in 2015 or by next season at the latest?"

2. Dantonio will once again need emergency hospitalization after a dramatic non-conference victory as he did in 2011. After a last-minute win over Oregon, Dantonio will suffer severe facial trauma from cracking a smile during the postgame celebration. His therapy will consist of maintaining a scowl while watching his team drub opponents for the next several weeks.

3. After rising to No. 3 in both polls after beating Oregon, Michigan State will encounter a letdown. The speedy option attack of the Air Force Academy will give the Spartan defense fits in the first half. The score will remain very close with the teams within seven points of each other for the first 30 minutes. However, a thorough tongue-lashing by Dantonio at halftime plus some defensive adjustments hold the Falcons in check while Connor Cook leads the offense to multiple scores to pull away in the fourth quarter.

4. Despite defeating Michigan for the seventh time in the past eight years, the two questions that Dantonio will receive in slightly altered versions will be:

* "How awesome are the coaching abilities of Harbaugh?"

* "How soon will Jim Harbaugh lead the Wolverines to a Big Ten championship, College Football Playoff appearance and national championship, in 2015 or by next season at the latest?"

5. The Spartans will dominate their first 10 opponents with exception of the nail-biter versus Oregon. That streak will set up a top-5 matchup of undefeated teams in Columbus against No. 1 Ohio State.

6. During the press conferences leading up to the game between Michigan State and Ohio State, the majority of questions that Buckeyes head coach Urban Meyer will receive follow along two repeated lines:

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* "Can any member of the Big Ten Western Division be even remotely competitive as an opponent in the conference championship versus your team?"

* "Would you rather head to Jerry World or Miami for your playoff game on New Year's Eve?"

7. The majority of the questions directed toward Dantonio during the week before traveling to Columbus will involve speculation along these two themes:

* "How awesome are the coaching abilities of Harbaugh?"

* "How soon will Jim Harbaugh lead the Wolverines to a Big Ten championship, College Football Playoff appearance and national championship, in 2015 or by next season at the latest?"

8. In November, the thick smoke will be blanketing of all Ohio. It will be due to weeks of bitterly disappointed Cleveland Browns' fans burning their Johnny Manziel apparel. Because of that, the Oracle was unable to see the final score of this contest in Columbus.

9. Cook will receive an invitation to the Downtown Athletic Club as a finalist for the Heisman Trophy. During his turn to be interviewed during the ceremony and prior to announcement of the winner, Cook will be asked two questions:

* "How awesome are the coaching abilities of Harbaugh?"

* "How soon will Jim Harbaugh lead the Wolverines to a Big Ten championship, College Football Playoff appearance and national championship, in 2015 or by next season at the latest?"

10. The Spartan defense will finish in the top 10 nationally in the categories of rushing yards allowed, passing yards allowed, total yards allowed and total points allowed.

11. Michigan State will ring in 2016 at the site of one of the New Year's Six bowl games. Due to extensive smoke from celebratory fireworks, the Oracle was not able to identify which one.

The Oracle has spoken!

— Written by John La Fleur, who is part of the Athlon Contributor network. A graduate of Michigan State and LSU, La Fleur also has been a Saints fan since he was old enough to understand football. Follow him on Twitter @FBConnoisseur.