We're all for tradition, and honoring your region with your team nickname, but some of these are just plain weird. Here they are in no particular order of weirdness. And yes, these are real.
1. Jordan (Utah) Beetdiggers
This nickname inspires fear. If you're a beet.
2. Conway (Ark.) Wampus Cats
A Wampus cat is a fearsome creature from folklore. Doesn't stop it from sounding stupid.
3. Camas (Wash.) Papermakers
4. Kimberly (Wis.) Papermakers
Maybe they can get Dunder-Mifflin to sponsor their uniforms.
5. Badger (Wis.) Badgers
The Badger Badgers? Too bad Duany Duany, Longar Longar and Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje didn't play there.
6. Newburgh Free Academy (NY) Goldbacks
Anything with "backs" attached to the end seems like a slur.
7. Butte (Idaho) Pirates
8. Grafton/St. Thomas (ND) Spoilers
Isn't the nickname "Spoilers" a concession that you suck and can only hope to spoil a good team's season?
9. Mt. Pleasant (RI) Kilties
They've managed to take the word "kilt" and make it even more effeminate.
10. Bellows Free Academy (Vt.) Bobwhites
A bobwhite is a quail that is commonly killed and consumed. Doesn't even have much meat on it.
11. Cairo (Ga.) Syrupmakers
Sweet and sticky are not adjectives I want applied to my football team.
12. Red Bank Catholic (NJ) Caseys
The school took its nickname from a former Monsignor. It makes me think of Casey Anthony. Or Kasey Kasem.
13. Glenville (Ohio) Tarblooders
A tarblooder was apparently a railroad worker who laid ties and cemented them with tar. When you have to explain it, it loses some impact.
14. Austin Westlake (Texas) Chaparrals
They're called the "Chaps" for short. Wonder if they're assless.
15. Dunbar (Md.) Poets
It's a nod to the school's namesake, but Poets? Aren't they the guys the football players should be pummeling?
16. Mt. Clemens (Mich.) Battling Bathers
Not sure you want to combine football and bath time in your nickname.
17. St. Mary's Prep (Mich.) Eaglets
18. Rockhurst (Mo.) Hawklets
Baby birds, even eagles and hawks, don't exactly inspire fear. Hell, they can't even fly.
19. North Little Rock Charging Wildcats
Adding "Charging" seems like overkill. And is a Wildcat really known for charging?
20. Salesianum School (Del.) Sallies
This simply can't be real, can it? Was Nancies already taken?
21. Punahou (Hawaii) Buffanblu
It's not some native Hawaiian bird of prey or anything. Believe it or not, this nickname comes from the school's colors: buff and blue.
22. Shelley (Idaho) Russets
Yes, Idaho is known for potatoes. Doesn't mean you have to incorporate it into your nickname. Would be like calling a Chicago team "the Gang-Related Murders."
23. Watersmeet (Mich.) Nimrods
In the Bible, Nimrod was a mighty hunter. Nobody knows their Bible anymore. Today, a nimrod is merely a moron.
24. Orofino (Idaho) Maniacs
Many think that the team was named for the local mental hospital. Unfortunately, that's not true. It was merely the frenetic style of play the hoops team used to be known for.
25. Teutopolis (Ill.) Wooden Shoes
They're particularly loud on the basketball court. But slow.
26. Chattanooga (Tenn.) Central Purple Pounders
Sounds like a prison team.
27. Mars Area (Pa.) Fighting Planets
Sort of a "War of the Worlds" theme.
28. Beaver (Okla.) Dusters
A Beaver Duster sounds like something you'd order online. On a secure site.
29. Yuma (Ariz.) Criminals
I hope this isn't truth in advertising.
30. Freeburg (Ill.) Midgets
Surprised that the little people lobby hasn’t gotten hold of this one.
31. Webster University Gorloks
The students at Webster came up with this one. Sounds like a Lord of the Rings character.
32. UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs
Big, slimy and disgusting. Kind of like a pregnant Kardashian sister.
33. Columbia College Fighting Koalas
Putting "fighting" in front of an adorable, cuddly creature like a koala doesn't make it any scarier.
34. Presbyterian Blue Hose
I guess it's better than the Presbyterian Depressed Prostitutes.
35. Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes
Ridiculous. Everyone knows artichokes are peaceful vegetables.
36. Rhode Island School of Design Nads
Yes, it's a joke, right down to the anatomically correct mascot and the "Go, Nads!" cheer.
37. Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs
I'd avoid the hot dogs at the ballpark.
38. Savannah Sand Gnats
Annoying sand-based insects are an overlooked genre for mascots.
39. Montgomery Biscuits
Hot, buttery and delicious. Paula Deen's favorite team.
40. Hillhouse (Conn.) Academics
I guess it's one way to flip the saying, "They're known for academics."