As soon as Commissioner Adam Silver tipped off the 2014 NBA Draft at Barclays Center in Brooklyn, the hilarity was on a fast-break pace. ESPN’s crew was highlighted by pro’s pro Reece Davis, length-loving Jay Bilas and the hot-and-heavy bromance of Jalen Rose and Bill Simmons at the big desk, while globetrotting European expatriate Fran Fraschilla told tales of scouting the south of France and motorcycle wreck Jay Williams wiped out during every post-draft interview. These are just a few highlights from the telecast.
Andrew Wiggins’ Three Amigos fashion sense
The No. 1 overall pick of the Cavaliers is the second consecutive Canadian drafted with the top spot, following the Anthony Bennett shocker last year. There have now been three Canadians drafted in the top-5 all-time, with all three picked by the Cavs. And after seeing what the wide-smiling Wiggins was wearing on draft night, Cleveland’s Canadian trio of Wiggins, Bennett and Tristan Thompson might as well be called the “Three Amigos” — if Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and Martin Short don’t mind, that is.
Joel Embiid’s ESPN reaction to getting drafted
It’s been a rough few weeks for the 7-foot, 20-year-old Embiid. First it was a stress fracture in his back. Then it was a stress fracture in the navicular bone in his right foot. Finally he was stung by the tape-delay bug, sitting with a blank look on his face after being drafted No. 3 overall by the 76ers. ESPN’s cameras zoomed in for an awkward few seconds of instant-classic draft footage.
Dante Exum’s Foot Locker and Adidas commercials
The 18-year-old Australian combo guard went No. 5 overall to the Utah Jazz, but his real highlight reel was during commercial breaks during the draft. Exum — whose father, Cecil, was a teammate of Michael Jordan and James Worthy on North Carolina’s 1982 national title team — played up his “international man of mystery” status and stateside anonymity in a series of ads for Foot Locker and Adidas. Whether he was mistaking bills for fan mail, practicing his autograph or wanting to avoid the paparazzi, Exum stole the show within the show.
Toronto drafting “Brazilian Kevin Durant” Bruno Caboclo
By far the craziest pick of the draft came when the Raptors took the 6’9”, 18-year-old Caboclo with the No. 20 overall pick in the first round. Frascilla declared the so-called “Brazilian Kevin Durant” as “two years away from being two years away.” Bilas seemed to think Toronto may have had more success making “Bruno Mars” the first “Bruno” selected in draft history. While the Raptors are hoping they’ve landed the next “Greek Freak” Giannis Antetokounmpo, the rest of the hoops-watching world is laughing.
Bill Simmons’ reaction to Heat getting Shabazz Napier
The Sports Guy loved the Celtics’ picks of Marcus Smart (pronounced Maaaacus Smaaaat from now on) and James Young — who prompted a fist pump from Simmons and marked the official end of the Kentucky basketball season, according to John Calipari — at Nos. 6 and 17, respectively. But Simmons is sick of teams “helping the Heat,” which is what he thought went down when the Bobcats traded LeBron James’ favorite player in the draft, two-time UConn champ Shabazz Napier, to two-time champ Miami.
Adam Silver and the NBA “drafting” Isaiah Austin
On a much more serious note, Silver continued to show a Midas touch when dealing with delicate matters. A 7-footer out of Baylor, Austin was diagnosed with Marfan syndrome — a connective tissue disorder that can affect the heart, lungs, eyes and spinal cord — during pre-draft medical evaluations. As a result, Austin’s basketball career was effectively ended. But at the halfway point of the draft, Silver called Austin on stage as a draft pick of the NBA. It was a poignant moment of genuine emotion that even a smug Internet troll draft critic could respect and appreciate. Well played, sir.