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If Fantasy Football Advice Was Honest


It’s only Week 3 of the fantasy football season and there have already been a ton of huge injuries and potential busts. Yet every Sunday morning when you check in before kickoff, all you get from your fantasy site is a bunch of bland match-up projections and quotes from that player’s local paper. Forget that. Your site should tell the truth about your highly drafted players. Here’s what we think it would look like if you got honest evaluations on your best players.

1. Chris Johnson

Honest Fantasy Advice: "Smart move drafting a guy who just inked a huge contract extension. That 2,000 yard season is still in play as long as there are 2,000 games left on this year's Titans schedule.

2. Arian Foster

Honest Fantasy Advice: "Was he coming off a flukey year? Check. Did he battle lingering hamstring issues all pre-season? Check. Are you a moron for taking him first overall and expecting him to replicate last season? Check."

3. Aaron Hernandez

Honest Fantasy Advice: "Remember when you were like, 'Should I take Gronkowski or Hernandez?' during your draft? Well, you chose wrong.

4. Peyton Hillis

Honest Fantasy Advice: "The Madden Curse strikes again. Also, the Curse of the Running Back Who Needs 37 Carries to Get 100 Yards strikes again."

5. Peyton Manning

Honest Fantasy Advice: "You really impressed yourself on draft day, huh? 'Look at me, I'm getting a top five quarterback in the 9th round! He'll never miss a start!' Now you're alternating between Tarvaris Jackson and Alex Smith while waiting on Terrelle Pryor's eligibility.

6. Michael Vick

Honest Fantasy Advice: We totally get why you'd take him so high. Nothing's more exciting than figuring out when Vick will take off next on a wild scramble and which type of injury it will result in.

7. Jamaal Charles

Honest Fantasy Advice: "Sure hope that league entry fee wasn't over 50 bucks.

8. Frank Gore

Honest Fantasy Advice: So far, so good. We'll just leave this here for now so it's ready for you when you need it: Gore will be sidelined for 2 to 4 weeks with inflammation in his knee.

9. Dez Bryant

Honest Fantasy Advice: He's unstoppable when he's on the field. No other wide receiver in the league possesses his rare combination of size, speed and injuries.

10. Marshawn Lynch

Honest Fantasy Football Advice: "Come on, dude, he plays for the Seahawks."

--By Saul Hutson