After last night, 59 players with enough plate appearances to qualify for the batting title are homerless so far this season. Some like infielders Daniel Descalso and Ruben Tejada may not hit one all season. And, yes, we know it’s less than a month into the season, but we like to have fun anyway.
Here are some notable players yet to go yard:
Alfonso Soriano, Chicago Cubs
Forget the $79 million the Cubs have already sunk into this guy. But they still owe him $54 million to cover this season through 2014. I think there’s been a heist on the North Side.
Jayson Werth, Washington
We’re giving Werth a break because he’s hitting .347. But the Nats are paying him handsomely to produce runs. He has just six RBIs and four runs scored.
Albert Pujols, Los Angeles Angels
The poster boy for this list. How can King Albert not have any home runs two weeks into the season? Although this is the longest drought to start a season in his career, we’re betting on Pujols to finish north of 35.
Mark Teixeira, New York Yankees
We know. We know. He’s a notorious slow starter, so leave him alone, right? Why? He’s a .238 career hitter prior to May 1 and .289 after. He’s driven in just 10 percent of his runs in April. Maybe the Yankees should pay him only half his salary in April.
Ryan Zimmerman, Washington
Over the winter, the Nats gave Zim what is essentially a lifetime contract, which is guaranteed through 2019 with a team option for 2020. We’re not giving up on Zimmerman being a terrific player, just merely pointing out that hs hasn’t homered since inking a huge deal.
Mark Reynolds, Baltimore
The Orioles might be able to stomach the 15 whiffs in only 36 at-bats if they were just one home run to show for the big swings.
Justin Upton, Arizona
He now has a jammed thumb, which could land him on the DL. Prior to that, the D’backs’ No. 3 hitter had just two extra-base hits and no RBIs.
Giancarlo Stanton, Miami
We’re reverting to Mike until he hits at least one bomb.