New York Jets superfan Fireman Ed penned a guest column in the Metro declaring his intentions to quit his unofficial post as the team’s mascot, following the 49–19 Thanksgiving Day massacre loss to the rival New England Patriots.
The man known to some as Ed Anzalone, former firefighter at Ladder 28 in Harlem, but to many as Fireman Ed, a crazed Jets fanatic and season-ticket holder since 1976, will no longer lead the “greatest chant in all of sports,” as he calls it. Fireman Ed will not lead the famed, “J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets!” cheer ever again because of more frequent “confrontations with other Jets fans.”
“I love the guy’s passion and energy he would bring,” said Jets coach Rex Ryan. “He’s a great fan. I really admire him. He was great. If we do our job on the field, that ‘Jets’ chant will continue.”
After losing Darrelle Revis and Santonio Holmes, the Jets must now fill the void left by their recently retired superfan, who “will attend games as usual, just not as Fireman Ed.”
So who's going to fill Fireman Ed's shoes? Here are 10 candidates who would be perfect to take over as New York’s No. 1 Jets fan:
Mark Sanchez’s backup might be better utilized as the Jets’ top cheerleader in the stands at MetLife Stadium rather than the highest profile bench player on the planet. Any role would have to be more productive than Tebow’s current purgatory — which has been low-lighted by seven pass attempts and 29 carries for a combined 126 total yards.
In fact, Tebow is indirectly responsible for Fireman Ed’s evacuation. “The stadium has become divided because of the quarterback controversy,” Ed said. “The fact that I chose to wear a Mark Sanchez jersey this year and that fans think I am on the payroll — which is an outright lie — have made these confrontations more frequent.”
Tebow is on the Jets’ payroll and would bring over-the-top positive energy all game long. As the J-E-T-S cheerleader, Tebow would probably be more mixed up in the quarterback controversy than he already is — whether he wore his own No. 15 jersey or supported Sanchez by wearing a green No. 6 just like Fireman Ed.
Maybe “J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets!” has run its course. Imagine “Gangnam Style” remixed as “Gang Green Style.” Maybe it’s time to get the New York crowd back on their high horses and dancing with a remix from the South Korean K-pop star PSY. Jets bowties would spread like wild fire.
3. The Village People
Fireman Ed likes to dress up, so do these guys. There’s a cop, chief, cowboy, biker and who knows what else. Plus, as an added bonus, these guys have plenty of practice leading large crowds in four-letter songs. Instead of Y-M-C-A, the new Village voice would lead the chant of J-E-T-S.
4. Jenn Sterger
The former Jets sideline reporter has been a superfan before — becoming internet famous as an FSU Cowgirl, thanks to Brent Musburger commenting that “1,500 red-blooded Americans just decided to apply to Florida State” after seeing her on national television during the 2005 FSU-Miami game.
But the model, actress and hostess really hit the big time when she was involved in a Jets quarterback controversy of a different kind, as the object of Brett Favre’s obsession late in 2010. It’s about time the Jets brought her back into the mix; they should send her a text or leave a voicemail to see if she’s interested.
5. Minka Kelly
Derek Jeter’s former fiancé played a football cheerleader on “Friday Night Lights,” giving her New York sports cred and gridiron cheering chops. She’s also the daughter of one-time Aerosmith guitarist Rick Dufay, so there’s no doubt she would have thousands of rabid fans waving their lighters in the air. Oh, and she's really, really hot. So there's that.
6. Fire Marshal Bill
The Jim Carrey character from “In Living Color” isn’t a fireman but he is a fire marshal who can “show ya something” about surviving the type of dumpster fires these Jets have been battling all season. Fire Marshal Bill Burns would bring electricity to the crowd and dump Gatorade on himself after every win.
7. Mark Gastineau
The chairman of the 1980’s New York Sack Exchange is the father of Kim Kardashian’s BFF Brittny. A former ‘roid rager who would not be intimidated by any confrontations, Gastineau would be the perfect green Hulk to lead Jets cheers. In fact, he already made his mark on the 2012 season during the team’s Ring of Honor ceremony with a drunken acceptance speech that SI.com’s Jimmy Traina called “Joe Namath Part II.”
8. Brett Favre
When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way, right? Well, Favre was kind of a Jet back in 2008, when he threw for 3,472 yards, 22 TDs and 22 INTs for the 9–7 Jets. Sure, he missed the playoffs, sent some infamous pictures of his watch and Crocs to a team employee and was fined $50,000 for not cooperating with an NFL investigation. But is that really worse than the season Sanchez is having?
Plus, it would never get so bad where Favre would have to walk away Fireman Ed-style. Just the opposite, a few “F-A-V-R-E! Favre! Favre! Favre!” chants and No. 4 would be back out there as a 43-year-old gunslinger showing Sanchez and Tebow how to play a little throw-and-catch and a lot of show-and-text.
9. Cast of MTV's Jersey Shore
Jets Guidettes like Snooki and J-Woww would be all about the drama that Fireman Ed is trying to get away from. And The Situation, Pauly D, Ronnie and Vinny would be fist-pumping all game and ready to J-E-T-S after G-T-L and t-shirt time. Plus, East Rutherford, N.J., is near their old neighborhood on the Jersey Shore.
10. Rex Ryan
No one is New York or New Jersey talks as big or bold as Rex Ryan, who back-to-backed it up with consecutive trips to the AFC title game early in his reign. But now, Ryan can’t keep his locker room or fan base from splintering. He might as well put on a Sanchez jersey like Fireman Ed — of whom Ryan said, “If he could play linebacker, I’d use him.” And the way the season is going compared to his own unrealistic expectations, Ryan might have some time on his hands next season.