The 2014 NFL Scouting Combine a.k.a. the “Underwear Olympics” may not have gotten as crazy as the Sochi Winter Olympics, but there were still plenty of memorable, GIF-able, troll-able moments at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis — where all the powdered wigs and stop-watch watchers scouted the top prospects going harder, better, faster, stronger. These are a few of the more memorable crazy moments from the Combine.
Adam Muema’s exits early, “following God”
The San Diego State running back has gone AWOL, as a healthy scratch. Despite being invited to audition for the NFL’s millionaires club, Muema exited early, saying God told him he would go on to play for the Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks if he left. “(God) told me to sit down, be quiet, and enjoy the peace,” Muema told the San Diego Union-Tribune’s Michael Gehlken. Hopefully everything works out for Muema, but he’s crazy if he thinks he’ll be taking Marshawn Lynch’s “Beast Mode” carries anytime soon.
Warren Sapp’s reaction to Jadeveon Clowney
Jadeveon Clowney came down from Mount Olympus to run a 4.53 in the 40-yard dash — a time that was unofficially sub-4.5 when first reported. That caused Hall of Fame, Super Bowl-winning, former Defensive Player of the Year turned NFL Network sideline dude Warren Sapp to lose his mind. “There’s something in the steroids. I mean, something in the milk. Something. Cause these kids are way bigger than I ever remember,” Sapp said. Clowney, for the record, weighed in at 6’5” and 266 pounds.
Internet trolls questioning Clowney’s “motor”
After watching the potential No. 1 overall pick tear up the track in Indianapolis, many took to their keyboards — which are presumably perched atop a very high horse — to question whether or not Clowney has the “motor” or “drive” or “will” or “love of the game” or, as the Ol’ Ball Coach Steve Spurrier infamously said, “work ethic” to succeed at the next level. Do you want Jadeveon Clowney on your favorite team? I do.
Michael Sam’s overcrowded press conference
Last year, Heisman Trophy runner-up Manti Te’o had a three-ring circus in Indy to discuss his imaginary girlfriend and love of phishing. This year, SEC Defensive Player of the Year Michael Sam had even more of a crowd on hand to hear his presser, which was a non-event thanks to the prepared poise of Sam — but a crazy crowd all the same. Sam lived up to his “instant hero in the gay and lesbian community” status bestowed upon him by Commissioner Roger Goodell’s brother Michael, who also happens to be gay.
Mike Mayock’s No. 1 pick? Khalil Mack!
Gelled hair Mel Kiper has been yelling about the NFL Draft for the longest, but the NFL Network’s Mike Mayock is the best in the business right now. So when Mayock says he’d take Buffalo’s Khalil Mack over Clowney, that sends shockwaves over the airwaves. “He’s explosive off the edge, he’s tough, he’s twitchy, he’s got a little edge about him,” Mayock said. “He dominated Ohio State like nobody I’ve ever seen dominate them. … You talk about a kid like (Jadeveon) Clowney, who’s just got superhuman abilities, versus this kid. And if I had a choice between the two, I think I’m taking Mack.”
Johnny Football’s height, hands and hype
Johnny Manziel’s larger-than-life persona Johnny Football may stand over six feet tall wearing cowboy boots and a 10-gallon hat, but he’s only 5’11.75” in his underwear. After claiming to be 72 inches “on the dot” prior to being measured, Manziel was a shade under the six-foot mark in Indy. Johnny Football did have huge hands, however, measuring at 9 7/8”. Those big mits match his reportedly size 15 shoes. Look out, NFL. Johnny Extremity is coming to a town near you.
Chris Johnson’s tweets about Dri Archer
In 2008, Johnson skyrocketed up draft boards into the first round after running an electronically timed record 4.24 in the 40-yard dash. So CJ2K is all about CJ4.24 when the NFL Scouting Combine rolls around. Lately, he’s reached 1972 Miami Dolphins’ champagne-popping proportions. When the last 40-yard dash has been run, Chris Johnson almost certainly pops a bottle of Moet. Another year, another retained title belt. Although it was close. Kent State flash ran a 4.26 that had CJ sweating.
Rich Eisen’s personal best 40-yard dash
Sure CJ and Dri are fast. But NFL Network host Rich Eisen must be hailed as the victor of this year’s 40-yard dash at the NFL Scouting Combine. The Michigan man ran his first sub-six-second 40 since his annual “running of the 40” took over the internet in 2005, when he ran a 6.77. Even in running shoes, however, the 44-year-old Eisen isn’t as fast as 331-pound nose tackle Louis Nix, who beat him by a solid five yards with a 5.42 compared to Eisen’s 5.98. Still, it’s a fun way to close out a crazy few days of football job interviews.