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NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 1


Locks of the Week
These are as good as gold — the San Francisco 1849 kind, not the two-tone Jacksonville helmet shade.

49ers (-4.5) vs. Packers
Remember Colin Kaepernick’s last game against the Packers D? He passed for 263 yards, rushed for 181 yards and accounted for four TDs in a 14-point victory.

Chiefs (-4) at Jaguars
Bet against J-Ville every week until the Jags prove they are not the worst team in the league — which they clearly are.

Blowout Bargains
Early in the season, some spreads aren’t nearly as high as they should be. Get in before the lines are adjusted.

Colts (-10) vs. Raiders
The Silver-and-Bleak are starting Terrelle Pryor. The Indy 500 offense is run by Andrew Luck. Do the math and make some math.

Patriots (-9) at Bills
Tom Terrific has a 20–2 record against Buffalo, tossing 52 TDs and 17 INTs against the AFC East division rival.

Straight Up Upsets
Two division games are a good place to start when looking for outright upsets in the season opener.

Vikings (+5.5) at Lions
Adrian Peterson rushed for “only” 273 yards and one TD in two games against the Lions last year. He might do that in one game this week.

Giants (+3.5) at Cowboys
Big Blue has a 7–3 record against Big D over the last five seasons, expect Jason Garrett’s seat to get as hot as his hair after this home loss.

Sucker Bets
Stay away from these games unless you’re a degenerate or a hometown homer who always has to have action.

Steelers (-7) vs. Titans
Pittsburgh is 3–2 against Tennessee since 2008, losing in Music City 26–23 last year.

Rams (-4.5) vs. Cardinals
It’s trendy to be bullish about St. Louis, but Sam Bradford is 3–3 against Arizona and 0–3 in season openers.

Seahawks (-3.5) at Panthers
Always smart to stay away from Pacific Coast Time Zone teams playing a nooner on the East Coast.

Saints (-3) vs. Falcons
Have you seen these teams play against each other? Flip a coin. That’s also the method Mike Smith uses to decide whether to go for it or kick on fourth downs.

Bears (-3) vs. Bengals
Chicago is coached by a former CFL czar. Cincy has HBO star Marvin Lewis.

Buccaneers (-3) at Jets
Revis Island returns to New Jersey and Greg Schiano is back on his old Rutgers recruiting turf.

Dolphins (PK) at Browns
The expansion Browns are 1–13 in season openers, having lost eight straight.

Monday Night Moolah
A double-header is a good time to double-down the weekend’s winnings or double-back to make up for losses.

Eagles (-3.5) at Redskins
RG3’s return will be overshadowed by Chip Kelly’s unveiling of an offense so diabolical even Shanahanigans won’t be able to stop it.

Texans (-3.5) at Chargers
Get ready to fall asleep to Philip Rivers throwing pick-sixes and making his new coach Mike McCoy look like Norv Turner.