Okay, NBC. We'll play along. All during the Olympics, we'll be presenting a rundown of the essential, can't-miss events — according to when they'll be broadcast on NBC. (We don't sanction watching the Olympics at work, but there are streaming options for those who choose to do so.)
Today's Fab Five, with broadcast times (all times Eastern):
1. Women's Volleyball - USA vs. Brazil, 11:30 am
No, this isn't the beach version, so no bikinis. But still worth watching.
2. Women's Basketball - USA vs. Angola, 5:15 pm
There's no Charles Barkley on hand to deliver forearm shivers to defenseless Angolans, but the US will still be heavy favorites. Expect Geno Auriemma to have scared this team straight after some opening jitters vs. Croatia.
3. Men's 200m Freestyle Finals, 8 pm
The ongoing Ryan Lochte-Michael Phelps subplot to these Games takes a breather — the event is Phelps-free — but the field is loaded as Lochte goes for gold.
4. Men's Gymnastics Team Finals, 8 pm
Led by 2008 individual silver medalist Jonathon Horton, the U.S. men are gunning for their first team gold medal since the 1984 Games in Los Angeles.
5. Women's 100m Backstroke, 8 pm
Missy "The Missile" Franklin will attempt to back up the hype in this eagerly anticipated event, which is likely Franklin's best shot at gold.
See more 2012 Olympics coverage.