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God Loves Tim Tebow; Doesn't Like Ben Roethlisberger

God is a big Tim Tebow fan. And he's not a big fan of Ben Roethlisberger. At least that's the only logical answer I can take away after the Broncos beat the Steelers 29-23 in overtime of the playoffs.

Let's break it down. After being the worst quarterback in the history of the game with more than 15 starts (that's a statistical fact, look it up) Tim Tebow, the good boy who prays really hard (and loud), eats his vegetables and probably helps little old ladies cross the street at halftime, erupted for the greatest game of his career against the Steelers.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, who happen to be lead by Ben Roethlisberger, a guy who gets called a rapist everywhere he goes for his numerous sexual assault allegations that have had caused him thousands in lawyer fees and brushes with the law, had a terrible game that cost his team a chance at the Super Bowl.

Let's look at this match-up through God's eyes and see why he may have given Tim a helpful nudge over Ben:

Good PR
Let's face it, God hasn't had this great of a PR spokesman since Moses. In the past, God's had a bit of a backlash after letting sleazebags like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker speak for him, only to later get exposed for philanderers and embezzlers. Tebow is the real deal. He's not going to get caught in bed with a Playmate or get busted for huffing crack in some Boulder back alley. God has been waiting to put his money on the right guy, someone who is not only a man of character, but puts his faith (and his circumsizing) where is mouth is. (Well, he doesn't put the circumsizing where his mouth know what I mean.)

God Doesn't Like (Alleged) Rapists
So, in the first Testament there are some questionable parts that are kind of OK with rape (check Deuteronomy and Judges), but since he let us know about John 3 16 where he sent his only begotten son to save the world (Jesus, not Tebow) he's been pretty clear on the whole "I don't like rape" argument. So it would be really hard for him to let a guy who's been accused of numerous sexual assaults to go on the road and take down a guy who's basically a poster boy for Jesus. This was God's great chance to draw a pretty clear line in the sand in rapist vs non-rapist and he took it.

A Friendly Reminder Who's In Charge
God himself admits that he's a jealous God, so I'm sure he's been a little peeved at all the press the Mayans have gotten about 2012 being the end of the world. Giving Tebow the win was his little way of letting us all know exactly who's going to decide when the world will be engulfed in flames and who will fill men's hearts with fear and set the seas roaring before the Kingdom of Heaven will return to reign over it for all of eternity. God, not the silly little Mayans.

As we all knew, on paper, Roethlisberger is head and shoulders above Tebow in ability and experience. Roethlisberger, who threw one of the great Super Bowl winning passes of all time against the Cardinals (lead by an almost-but-not-quite-as-pious Kurt Warner) already has two NFL crowns notched into his belt. Tebow, on the other hand was the fourth-string quarterback for a team picked to lose more games than it won just four months ago. But when you put God on his team, we know who's going to win that game every time.

Having said all that, Tebow has no chance against Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the Patriots.